Getting The Groom Involved

Once you are engaged the wedding planning starts. For most guys they don’t care what colors are chosen, who sits next to who, or much of anything else for that matter.  Though, guys, you must remember that this day just isn’t for your bride, but is also YOUR day. It is important to give feedback into the wedding planning. You’re right, you may not take interest in many of the planning steps, but you could help with the DJ, transportation on the day of the wedding, and the honeymoon planning. Grooms can use these tips to be more involved in the wedding planning: have an opinion, don’t run away, don’t be a “yes man,” If you offer to help follow through, help with your relatives, keep track of your groomsmen, and if you are living together, help around the house. Now this may sound like a lot, but let me break it down for you, and you will see that these tips will really make your life easier 🙂

The first tip is to try your best to have an opinion. There will be parts to the planning that do not interest you, and if you simply don’t care that is fine. However, try to have an input to items that have an interest to you. If your fiancé is debating on what beer to have at the bar let her know what you like and don’t like. If she is having a difficult time choosing a photographer or DJ let her know your opinion. It is important to speak up and to add your opinion. Remember it is YOUR day too.

Another tip is to not run away when your fiance has a bridezilla moment. Instead of running from her, try to calm her down. If you can see that she is clearly stressed out have her stop planning for the night. For the rest of the night tell her that there will be no talk of weddings, but rather a night with just of the two of you. Go out to dinner and a movie, plan a weekend get a way, or give her a spa day. The last thing she needs is for you to run or poke fun of her when she is stressed out.

The last thing your fiance wants is for you to be a “yes man.” When you say “yes” to everything you are giving her the impression that you simply do not care about it and that you want to be left alone. If you like something say “yes,” but tell her why so that way she knows you are engaged in what’s going on.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells me they are going to do something and then they don’t do it. DO NOT BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS. If you tell your fiance that you are going to go with her to look at the reception hall, GO, and give input on whether or not you like it. She is depending on you to help her make decisions for your wedding day.

Who knows your family better, you or your fiance? In most cases it is you, so be sure to help with your own family business. Your fiance may not know who gets a long and who doesn’t. When setting up the seating chart, this information would be very helpful coming from the groom. When disputes pop up with your side of the family, step in and solve the problem. Don’t have her do this for you.

The bride will be stressed out enough with everything on her plate, the last thing she needs is to know whether or not your groomsmen have their attire ordered and ready to go. This is something that the groom needs to take care of. Remember to be detailed with your groomsmen so that they do not get confused. Tell them how to get to the formal-ware store, the time of the fittings, how much the rentals are going to cost, when they need to be returned, and any other important information.

Lastly, if you are living together, try to help out more around the house. By helping out with non wedding chores you are showing her that you care. More importantly, picking up around the house, cleaning the dishes, and taking out the trash without being ask will really make a difference…you just wait and see!

These tips may seem like a lot, but when you break it down it really isn’t a lot. Your wedding day is the celebration for BOTH of you. In order to make the most of it, you will need to put your opinions in too. Don’t be afraid to call it quits for the day and take time for yourselves to regroup and enjoy each other.


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